As per the Panchang, the traditional Hindu almanac, an Akela (alone) person eating two Kelas (banana) on any Somvar (Monday) during the holy month of Shravan is not auspicious. Here’s a case study about Rahul Banana to prove this.
Rahul Bose, the Bollywood actor provoked an outcry on social media when he recently posted a video of his getting overcharged by JW Marriott Chandigarh. The hotel billed him Rs. 442.50 for a pair of banana. The tragic incident happened on Monday, July 22, 2019. After the issue made it to the front pages of leading dailies, everybody is going banana over the yellow fruit. The issue is not just about the violation of many Indian laws but also involves the raging debate about ethical marketing.
Before we discuss every facet of the intricate dispute, here is a brief profile of the banana, a nutritious fruit crop belonging to the genus Musa. It might seem incredible but the banana, one of the most popular health food is also one of the most radioactive food (though harmless) we eat on a regular basis. It also holds the rare distinction of being the world’s most traded and consumed fruit, India being its largest producer. Despite having an intricate supply chain, this interesting and cheapest fruit, also known as the poor man’s fruit, is used as a loss leader in many supermarkets around the world.
Although prima facie, this case of overcharging (unreasonably high mark-up) seems to be a violation of the consumer protection act, it caught the eye of tax officials. Taking a suo motu cognizance of the offense under the GST law, the Chandigarh Excise & Taxation department issued a show-cause notice to JW Marriott asking as to how a tax was charged on a tax-free item. Representing the company, senior counsel, Harish Salve contested that bananas served were “stale fruits” and only “fresh fruits” are exempted from the GST. Leading a battery of lawyers, the learned counsel further clarified the reason for serving the stale fruit. He said that the as per the latest research on gut microbiome, stale bananas are high in inulin, a prebiotic substance which stimulates the growth of good bacteria in the gut. To verify the veracity of the claim, the tax department has sent a blood sample of Mr. Bose to a forensic laboratory.
Meanwhile, The Federation of Hotel and Restaurant Associations of India (FHRAI) has issued an advisory to its members to put Mr. Bose on a no-guest list (NGL) for a period of one year for his unruly behavior. It has also requested the members to put a customer notice strictly prohibiting taking photos and making any video recording inside the hotel premises.
However, the controversy refuses to subside. In a separate allegation against JW Marriott, the Wikileaks claims that the hotel paid one crore rupees to Rahul to deliberately spark the controversy, the way Bollywood does it just before a film’s release. The purpose is to create a buzz around the brand to boost its sagging sales.
As per the new marketing mantra, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. The business corporations have become wiser over the years and, by now, know for sure that the word morality does not exist in this universe. Like other common myths and imagined realities, it is nothing but a fiction created by the Sapiens. Any publicity, negative or positive, is valuable simply because it stimulates product awareness and people at least start thinking and talking about it. In fact, a recent research paper by Harvard Business School states that bad news isn’t always bad for the business. The negative PR, often, paradoxically, helps create new brand loyalists. This new-age marketing strategy is quite cheap as compared to conventional advertising. Even Bollywood icon, Mohammed Aamir Hussain Khan, also known as Mr. Perfectionist employ this technique as controversies only empower him for more success. The US President Donald Trump even swear by this simple trick.
There seems to be some truth in the allegation as, after the hype, the occupancy rate of the hotel suddenly jumped with the bulk of room inventory booked in advance for the next six months. In a private meeting, the Chandigarh administration also thanked the hotel for bringing this nondescript town on the tourist map of India. Rahul Bose has also started getting many offers for a lead role in big-budget Hindi movies. The hotel chain is now planning to do a rebranding exercise and make BANANA it’s new logo and trademark. The corporation might also change its name to Banana Inc. It has also moved the court to issue an injunction order to stop other brands from trying to make a killing from the banana row.
Meanwhile, the GOI amends Legal Metrology (Packaged Commodities) Rules to specifically include fruits such as bananas pomegranates and oranges as a pre-packaged commodity. The outer peel/shell of these fruits is nothing but a natural form of packaging as it protects the contents. Now, this will make it mandatory to declare the MRP, date of manufacture, qty, expiry date, manufacturer’s details among other details on the label to be affixed on every banana. Another notable amendment has also been made in Consumer Disputes Act, 1986 doing away with the filing of a formal complaint in the consumer courts. As a part of the Digital India initiative, the Indian Government has tied up with Twitter to allow the consumers to automatically file a complaint just by tweeting about it.
Finally, in a new twist to this sensational case, doctors have recently diagnosed a person to be suffering from acute radiation syndrome (ARS) also known as radiation sickness. It is caused due to exposure to high amounts of ionizing radiation. The hapless victim ate two bananas on the same fateful day in another hotel in Chandigarh. Acute radiation sickness due to ingestion of radioactive material is possible but rare. However, scientists are perplexed as to how a pair of bananas can contain such a high level of radioactivity material. A team of scientists is investigating the matter. After hearing about this episode, Mr. Bose thanked his stars and has decided to say Na-Na to a banana forever. He has also started reading holy books and very soon will be going on a pilgrimage to ask for divine forgiveness.
Hence proved that a-kela is a-kela is a-kela. Also, a-kela plus another kela is always more than the sum of two kelas. The banana theorem also proves that there is a scientific basis behind everything written in the sacred scriptures and one should never question the gospel truth.
Related News:
- Priyanka Gandhi meets Rahul to offer her sympathies and vows never to eat bananas
- Congress working committee (CWC) sees a new leader in Rahul Bose giving Rahul Gandhi sleepless nights
- Amit Shah offers Rs five crore to Rahul Bose to join BJP and contest against Rahul Gandhi in next general elections: This time it will be Gandhi Vs. Bose
- The opposition led by Rahul Gandhi staged a walkout from the Lok Sabha over the Banana controversy
(Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and is part of The Faking Times, August 2019 edition. All the characters, institutions and events described in this case study are fictional. Any similarity to real persons or aliens (living, dead or undead) or actual events is purely coincidental and unintended.)
